Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated
on Account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing. She
had him arrested.
Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
acted in such a manner.
His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing
she was pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'coming soon: The Gold
Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement,
which
read: 'William's Stick Did the Trick'.
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she
sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident.'
The case was dismissed!
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
- I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
- College is a refuge from hasty judgement
- The freshmen bring a little knowledge in and the seniors take none out, so it accumulates through the years.
- Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they would all be a lot more comfortable.
- Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
- Definition of a College Professor : Someone who talks in other people's sleep.
- An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
- Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland : Rich and Thick.
- College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
- He who can do - he, who cannot, teaches.
- Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
- If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
- "I think my thinking thinks thoughts that thought they think they're thinking when I'm thinking. I thought i think my thoughts, but I thought wrong."
- Don't trust your heart because its not on the right side.
- Words of wisdom ~ No one is listening until you fart.
- They say that when you dream about somebody, they went to sleep thinking about you. Quick! everybody think about me and we will have a big party in my dreams!!
- Skinny people wear G-strings, does that mean fat people wear G-ropes!
- Quack! I'm a cow that was raised by squirrels.
- Have you ever realized that the calendar spells W T F after Monday and Tuesday
- Smile uncontrollably and the world smiles with you. Laugh uncontrollably and they'll think your on drugs.
- The secret to growing old is to keep breathing.
- Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. How weird is that?
- I wouldn't even fart in your mouth if you needed oxygen to stay alive.
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
Q: I run over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night I sit not alone. My tongue hangs out, up and to the rear, awaiting to be filled in the morning. What am I?
Q: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
Q: A certain crime is punishable if attempted but not punishable if committed. What is it?
Q: What goes around the world but stays in a corner?
Q: I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?
Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
Q: I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven. I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air. What am I?
Q: I'm where yesterday follows today, and tomorrow's in the middle. What am I?
Q: I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I?
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only eleven inches long?
Q: You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
Q: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Q: You can't keep this until you have given it.
Q: Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?
Q: Past mountain, meadow, field, and hill, it follows a river while standing still.
Q: Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
Q: Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?
Q: The capital of Turkey is a long word. Can you spell it?
Q: The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
Q: What goes up and down without moving?
Q: What goes up white and comes down yellow?
Q: What grows up while growing down?
Q: What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
Q: What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
Q: What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
Q: What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
Q: What has four eyes but cannot see?
Q: What has no beginning, end or middle and touches every continent?
Q: What has no beginning, end, or middle?
Here are the answers !!
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
- Beer is always wet.
- Frigid beer is good beer.
- Beer always goes down easily.
- Beer never gets a headache.
- You can share a beer with your friends.
- You don't have to wine and dine beer.
- You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
- You always know you are the first one to pop a beer.
- You can enjoy beer every day of the month.
- You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
- If you pour a beer right you'll always get a good head.
- Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
- A woman does not have a man's habit to scratch her noggin when she thinks of an answer to a confusing question, for example - Woman do not like to show they are confused. They never want to ruin their hair with that gesture either. Justified!
- Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
- The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some thing twice. But if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
- Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes which are in the closet, you "just don't understand".
- Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling!
- Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
- Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
- Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soaps operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
