Just Smile

The questions are:

1. What would you do if I died?
2. Do I look fat?
3. What are you thinking about?
4. Do you love me?
5. Do you think she is prettier than me?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrect (I mean tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

1. What would you do if I died?
A definite no win question here. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a new Porsche." or maybe "Party all night.")


2. Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic "Of course not!".

Inappropriate answers:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but your thighs sure do make a lot of noise.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


3. What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, woman you are and how lucky I am to have met you."

Inappropriate answers:
a. Baseball
b. Football
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.


4. Do you love me?
The proper response is "YES!", or if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear".


Inappropriate answers:
a. I suppose so.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?


5. Do you think she is prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic "Of course not!"


Inappropriate answers:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were here age.
d. Define pretty.
e. Could you repeat the question, I was thinking of the insurance money again.


So just remember these answers or else you know what will happen.

Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT
Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP

Man discovered WORD and invented CONVERSATION
Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP

Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD
Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE
Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES

Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING

That's it!

Thereafter, man has discovered and invented a lot of things..

WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL STUCK WITH SHOPPING !!

1. On a Beauty Parlor :
"Don't Whistle at the Girl going out from here. She may be your GrandMother "

2. On a Bulletin Board :
"Success is Related. More the Success, More the Relatives"

3. Sign at a Barber's Saloon :
"We need your Heads to Run our Business"

4. A Traffic Slogan :
"Don't let your kids drive if they are not Old enough or else They Never Will Be"

5. Sign in a Restaurant :
"All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the Manager"

6.Amazing banner outside a wine shop :
"If You Love Someone Today,
You'll Definitely Love Me Tomorrow"

6. THE BEST ONE :
"Its GOD's Responsibility to Forgive the Terrorist Organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to Arrange the Meeting between them and GOD"

1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.

2. NOTHING - means SOMETHING & you need to be WORRIED.

3. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, do NOT do it.

4. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU

5. THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.