Showing posts with label long jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label long jokes. Show all posts
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
- He took me from a bar,
He took me in his car.
He took my top off.
He puts his lips on mine,
But don't worry, I'm a bottle of wine! - What's an average 6 inch long
inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
A: 1000 Rupees Note
Always think positive! - In which situation, Do men start sweating
in 10 mins and women want to go and on and on?
think..
think..
SHOPPING
God Bless Your Naughty Mind! - Smile is the 2nd best thing you do with your lips.
Of course you know the first one...
It's keeping your mouth shut.
But I like the way you think! - What are three problems about being an egg?
»You only get laid once,
»The only woman to sit on your face is your mother,
»And it takes four minutes to get hard.
- I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh
creating creamy fomy liquid, as it goes in and out
up and down, can't wait till next time
My toothbrush - Feeling bored?
Open the zip!
Put your hands in between your zip..
and take out your..
books from your bad and start studying.
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (1)
1. What would you do if I died?
2. Do I look fat?
3. What are you thinking about?
4. Do you love me?
5. Do you think she is prettier than me?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrect (I mean tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
1. What would you do if I died?
A definite no win question here. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a new Porsche." or maybe "Party all night.")
2. Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic "Of course not!".
Inappropriate answers:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but your thighs sure do make a lot of noise.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
3. What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, woman you are and how lucky I am to have met you."
Inappropriate answers:
a. Baseball
b. Football
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
4. Do you love me?
The proper response is "YES!", or if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear".
Inappropriate answers:
a. I suppose so.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
5. Do you think she is prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic "Of course not!"
Inappropriate answers:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were here age.
d. Define pretty.
e. Could you repeat the question, I was thinking of the insurance money again.
So just remember these answers or else you know what will happen.
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
comments (0)
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand.
After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,
'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'.
The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me" she fumed.
The man sympathized and said:
"Why, he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers."
"You`re right" she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That`s a good idea" the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in.
A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"
He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good."
The guy at the door says, "Come on in."
The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"
The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?"
