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Parag Jaggi
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- I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
- College is a refuge from hasty judgement
- The freshmen bring a little knowledge in and the seniors take none out, so it accumulates through the years.
- Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they would all be a lot more comfortable.
- Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
- Definition of a College Professor : Someone who talks in other people's sleep.
- An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.
- Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland : Rich and Thick.
- College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
- He who can do - he, who cannot, teaches.
- Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
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Parag Jaggi
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The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
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Parag Jaggi
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- If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
- "I think my thinking thinks thoughts that thought they think they're thinking when I'm thinking. I thought i think my thoughts, but I thought wrong."
- Don't trust your heart because its not on the right side.
- Words of wisdom ~ No one is listening until you fart.
- They say that when you dream about somebody, they went to sleep thinking about you. Quick! everybody think about me and we will have a big party in my dreams!!
- Skinny people wear G-strings, does that mean fat people wear G-ropes!
- Quack! I'm a cow that was raised by squirrels.
- Have you ever realized that the calendar spells W T F after Monday and Tuesday
- Smile uncontrollably and the world smiles with you. Laugh uncontrollably and they'll think your on drugs.
- The secret to growing old is to keep breathing.
- Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. How weird is that?
- I wouldn't even fart in your mouth if you needed oxygen to stay alive.
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Parag Jaggi
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Q: I run over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night I sit not alone. My tongue hangs out, up and to the rear, awaiting to be filled in the morning. What am I?
Q: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
Q: A certain crime is punishable if attempted but not punishable if committed. What is it?
Q: What goes around the world but stays in a corner?
Q: I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest man can't hold me for much more than a minute. What am I?
Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
Q: I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven. I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air. What am I?
Q: I'm where yesterday follows today, and tomorrow's in the middle. What am I?
Q: I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I?
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only eleven inches long?
Q: You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
Q: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Q: You can't keep this until you have given it.
Q: Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?
Q: Past mountain, meadow, field, and hill, it follows a river while standing still.
Q: Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
Q: Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?
Q: The capital of Turkey is a long word. Can you spell it?
Q: The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
Q: What goes up and down without moving?
Q: What goes up white and comes down yellow?
Q: What grows up while growing down?
Q: What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
Q: What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
Q: What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
Q: What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
Q: What has four eyes but cannot see?
Q: What has no beginning, end or middle and touches every continent?
Q: What has no beginning, end, or middle?
Here are the answers !!
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Parag Jaggi
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- Beer is always wet.
- Frigid beer is good beer.
- Beer always goes down easily.
- Beer never gets a headache.
- You can share a beer with your friends.
- You don't have to wine and dine beer.
- You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
- You always know you are the first one to pop a beer.
- You can enjoy beer every day of the month.
- You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
- If you pour a beer right you'll always get a good head.
- Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
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Parag Jaggi
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- A woman does not have a man's habit to scratch her noggin when she thinks of an answer to a confusing question, for example - Woman do not like to show they are confused. They never want to ruin their hair with that gesture either. Justified!
- Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
- The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
- If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some thing twice. But if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
- Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes which are in the closet, you "just don't understand".
- Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling!
- Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
- Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
- Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soaps operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
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Parag Jaggi
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Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT
Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP
Man discovered WORD and invented CONVERSATION
Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP
Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD
Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET
Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE
Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES
Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING
That's it!
Thereafter, man has discovered and invented a lot of things..
WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL STUCK WITH SHOPPING !!
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Parag Jaggi
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1. On a Beauty Parlor :
"Don't Whistle at the Girl going out from here. She may be your GrandMother "
2. On a Bulletin Board :
"Success is Related. More the Success, More the Relatives"
3. Sign at a Barber's Saloon :
"We need your Heads to Run our Business"
4. A Traffic Slogan :
"Don't let your kids drive if they are not Old enough or else They Never Will Be"
5. Sign in a Restaurant :
"All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the Manager"
6.Amazing banner outside a wine shop :
"If You Love Someone Today,
You'll Definitely Love Me Tomorrow"
6. THE BEST ONE :
"Its GOD's Responsibility to Forgive the Terrorist Organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc. Its our responsibility to Arrange the Meeting between them and GOD"
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Parag Jaggi
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Here is Trick
Recharge ur phone every month
freely by following this process.
Please follow the instruction &
you can recharge your SIM card
absolutely free.
Yes it is possible, see how
technology can be used to make
anyone a fool!
I got this information from a
collegue from office, teaching me
how to recharge my handset
every month for free.
I am going to share this to all of
you. Please follow the
instructions as stated below
before you start it:
Applicable for EVERY OPERATOR users
only and it is done
illegally of course. But there are
many things that are illegal in
this world.
But then who cares. Don’t worry
nobody can trap you. No legal
action can be taken on you for
this.
So go ahead without
worrying.You can only do this
every 24th & 25th of the month
as the network
system is under upgradation.
1.) ** Dial ” 1415007 ” using
your h/phone and wait for 5
seconds
2.) ** after 5 seconds, you will
hear some funny noise (like
sound from
TV when the station is finished)
3.) ** Once the noise stop,
immediately dial 9151 follow by
your phone
number
4.) ** A recorded message
“please insert your pin number”
will follow
5.) ** punch in the pin number ”
011785 45227 00734″ and wait
for the
operator
finish repeating the above pin
number.
6.) ** After the pin number has
been repeat, dial " 0405 "
7.) ** you will hear a message
“for air time top-up press 1723″
you
just have to follow the
instruction
8.) ** After you follow the
instruction, the noisy sound will
re-appear for about 5 second
9.) ** once the noise stop, dial ”
4455147 ” follow by ” 146 ”
10.) ** after about 5 second, dial
” 1918 ” after 3 second dial ”4451”
11.) ** after you done that,
punch in the serial number
“01174452271145527 ”
you will hear dial tone.
12.) ** once the dialing tone
stop, dial ” 55524785933 ” you
will hear ” please
key in your password”
13.) ** the password is ” ****
2+253+7891*+546322 ” wait
for the message “your password
accepted”
14.) ** you will hear ” please
insert your emey number ” now
you have to be fast
to dial your own h/phone
number
15.) ** you will hear a dialing
tone, when the call is answered,
dial ”
1566 ” and you will hear “re-
confirm emery number”
16.) ** once you hear that
message, dial ” 6011556
2245334 follow by your
h/phone number ”
17.) ** after a while, you will
hear a message “your pin
number is accepted” you
have to dial ” 1007 ”
18.) ** after you done that you
will hear “your emery number is
accepted”
19.) ** continue dial ” 4566 ”
you will hear “your password is
accepted”
20.) ** once the second message
finish, immediately dial your own
h/phone number
21.) ** Now you will receive a
message saying ………..
“NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS
WORLD, . SO, GET BACK TO WORK
AND DON’T WASTE
TIME !!”
Bye………Bye………..
Dont search 4 me to kill me… I’m
busy hunting down the one who
sent
me!!
Recharge ur phone every month
freely by following this process.
Please follow the instruction &
you can recharge your SIM card
absolutely free.
Yes it is possible, see how
technology can be used to make
anyone a fool!
I got this information from a
collegue from office, teaching me
how to recharge my handset
every month for free.
I am going to share this to all of
you. Please follow the
instructions as stated below
before you start it:
Applicable for EVERY OPERATOR users
only and it is done
illegally of course. But there are
many things that are illegal in
this world.
But then who cares. Don’t worry
nobody can trap you. No legal
action can be taken on you for
this.
So go ahead without
worrying.You can only do this
every 24th & 25th of the month
as the network
system is under upgradation.
1.) ** Dial ” 1415007 ” using
your h/phone and wait for 5
seconds
2.) ** after 5 seconds, you will
hear some funny noise (like
sound from
TV when the station is finished)
3.) ** Once the noise stop,
immediately dial 9151 follow by
your phone
number
4.) ** A recorded message
“please insert your pin number”
will follow
5.) ** punch in the pin number ”
011785 45227 00734″ and wait
for the
operator
finish repeating the above pin
number.
6.) ** After the pin number has
been repeat, dial " 0405 "
7.) ** you will hear a message
“for air time top-up press 1723″
you
just have to follow the
instruction
8.) ** After you follow the
instruction, the noisy sound will
re-appear for about 5 second
9.) ** once the noise stop, dial ”
4455147 ” follow by ” 146 ”
10.) ** after about 5 second, dial
” 1918 ” after 3 second dial ”4451”
11.) ** after you done that,
punch in the serial number
“01174452271145527 ”
you will hear dial tone.
12.) ** once the dialing tone
stop, dial ” 55524785933 ” you
will hear ” please
key in your password”
13.) ** the password is ” ****
2+253+7891*+546322 ” wait
for the message “your password
accepted”
14.) ** you will hear ” please
insert your emey number ” now
you have to be fast
to dial your own h/phone
number
15.) ** you will hear a dialing
tone, when the call is answered,
dial ”
1566 ” and you will hear “re-
confirm emery number”
16.) ** once you hear that
message, dial ” 6011556
2245334 follow by your
h/phone number ”
17.) ** after a while, you will
hear a message “your pin
number is accepted” you
have to dial ” 1007 ”
18.) ** after you done that you
will hear “your emery number is
accepted”
19.) ** continue dial ” 4566 ”
you will hear “your password is
accepted”
20.) ** once the second message
finish, immediately dial your own
h/phone number
21.) ** Now you will receive a
message saying ………..
“NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS
WORLD, . SO, GET BACK TO WORK
AND DON’T WASTE
TIME !!”
Bye………Bye………..
Dont search 4 me to kill me… I’m
busy hunting down the one who
sent
me!!
Posted by
Parag Jaggi
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- If the #2 Pencil is so popular why is it still #2?
- Ok, so what's the speed of dark?
- Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
- Why do they sterlize the needles for lethal injections>
- If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose?
- The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business.. didn't they see it coming?
- Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would wyou treat them?
- If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
- Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
- And if it is misspelled, how would we know?
- Would a fly without wings be called walk?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered hostage situation?
- Why are "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
- Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
- Why is the word abbreviation so long?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
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Parag Jaggi
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***Fraud with Innocent Boys ***
***Fun with Handsome Boys***
*** Friendship with Charming Boys ***
*** Contact with Intelligent Boys ***
*** Flirt with Freaky Boys ***
*** Love with Faithful Boys ***
&
at the end
*** Marriage with the Rich Boy***
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Parag Jaggi
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Here are some hillarious but embarrassing moments:
1. A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.
2. A mother was taking a shower when her 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for the camera and took a few pics. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
3. An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma'am, would be OK if I sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What?! You want $500 for 1 night? That's too much." Everyone starts looking at the woman and the woman feels very bad and ashamed. The guy now smiles and says, "Don't mess with an Engineer."
4. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER'
1. A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.
2. A mother was taking a shower when her 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for the camera and took a few pics. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
3. An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma'am, would be OK if I sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What?! You want $500 for 1 night? That's too much." Everyone starts looking at the woman and the woman feels very bad and ashamed. The guy now smiles and says, "Don't mess with an Engineer."
4. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER'
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Parag Jaggi
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1. FINE - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.
2. NOTHING - means SOMETHING & you need to be WORRIED.
3. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, do NOT do it.
4. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU
5. THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.
2. NOTHING - means SOMETHING & you need to be WORRIED.
3. GO AHEAD - this is a dare, not permission, do NOT do it.
4. WHATEVER - is a woman's way of saying SCREW YOU
5. THAT'S OK - she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.
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Parag Jaggi
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For those who don't know who is "Rajnikaanth"
He never wet his bed as a child,
the bed wet itself in fear.
Once the facebook's founder was hospitalised,
Because he poked him.
Once he participated in a race,
he came 1st,
Einstein died after watching that,
because....
light came 2nd.
When he was in class 3,
teacher told him to write an essay on anything,
Today that essay is known as WIKIPEDIA.
He once wrote his biography,
Today that book in known as GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORD.
When he does push ups,
He is not lifting himself up,
He is pushing the earth down.
When he joined facebook,
the next second he got a notification,
that facebook wants to be his friend.
He once hit a six,
and that ball is today known as PLUTO.
Once he threw his ring in the air,
it went to a planet,
and that planet became SATURN.
Rajnikanth Theory Of Light:
Throw a beam of your torch light on a mirror with refractive index 100 at an angle of 17.63 degrees. The reflected beam hits the ceiling and then further hits the wall before striking the cigar. The reflected light, due to high air friction and friction at the wall gets converted into heat which in turn gets converted into fire in 0.001256 micro seconds. This lights the cigar and you can smoke with the light(delight).
Reference:
Rajnikanth's Theory of Physics - Vol III
He never wet his bed as a child,
the bed wet itself in fear.
Once the facebook's founder was hospitalised,
Because he poked him.
Once he participated in a race,
he came 1st,
Einstein died after watching that,
because....
light came 2nd.
When he was in class 3,
teacher told him to write an essay on anything,
Today that essay is known as WIKIPEDIA.
He once wrote his biography,
Today that book in known as GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORD.
When he does push ups,
He is not lifting himself up,
He is pushing the earth down.
When he joined facebook,
the next second he got a notification,
that facebook wants to be his friend.
He once hit a six,
and that ball is today known as PLUTO.
Once he threw his ring in the air,
it went to a planet,
and that planet became SATURN.
Rajnikanth Theory Of Light:
Throw a beam of your torch light on a mirror with refractive index 100 at an angle of 17.63 degrees. The reflected beam hits the ceiling and then further hits the wall before striking the cigar. The reflected light, due to high air friction and friction at the wall gets converted into heat which in turn gets converted into fire in 0.001256 micro seconds. This lights the cigar and you can smoke with the light(delight).
Reference:
Rajnikanth's Theory of Physics - Vol III
